I was a high school aged girl, maybe 16. Auburn hair, tall like 5’8, lanky, nasty braces though it didn’t affect my speech, and ugly. My parents were the Sopranos and I had major beef with my mom. I can’t remember what me and Carmela argued about but it got physical within a few days. We were at 105 for the majority of the time. She was having some type of get together with a lot of the mobsters associates, nobody too important. We had huge blowouts in front of everyone except the last one must’ve been more important because she dragged me out by my shirt. This really pissed me off so I grabbed a handful of her hair. It’s important to mention that I was in my 6th grade classroom and Carmela looks kinda like my teacher (blonde, fake tan, wrinkled, sexy, appears confident or at least knows her way around an argument {boundaries) Anyways she wasn’t having it and walked back into the classroom. It skips to the next day. The next day, Tony comes to mediate. I think somewhere between the walk to the room, he morphs into my grandpa? Same stature I guess. His peacoat is lenty. He’s with someone else in the same peacoat and I’m holding one identical but I refuse to wear it. Classism? I walk to the class room with him where Carmela has gathered a bunch of randoms to witness my slander. For some reason I’m remembering this to be my actual mom instead of Carmela but I know it’s Carmela for now. But I’ve turned back into myself. I aggressively kick everyone not important out. Most of these characters don’t appear in the show and are totally made up. There’s one black or mixed girl with a dope fit on (a dress like the shirt stared on my Pinterest board. She’s petite and her chest is bony with A-cup boobs. She looks about 22 years old. Se has on headphones 🎧 and her legs on the desk, chewing gum) that I complement before kicking her out. I can’t remember what happens next. But it cuts to Uncle Junior walking through a secluded parking lot into the runways of an airport. He’s with a black guy for a drug deal. I approach him asking if he can talk to Carmela for me but then a bunch of black guys start standing behind him. Some where as young as 13. Just some ruffians. But they won’t back up and I have to repeatedly tell them to only for them to come back after a few seconds. Eventually JR agrees to do it. I’m back at the school as the ugly girl. We set up a true meditation where nothing is solved. Late at night in the bedroom Tony says to Carmela “So she got away with it” or something like that and that I have to write an apology essay. Now I’m myself, in my room, with my real mom and max. Everything happens within one day/night. We have little arguments that build up. And for some reason I have a big black bodyguard in my room. He kinda looks like Omega, an old friend of mine. We don’t have sex or anything and seem like actual friends. Anyway, they start construction on the apartment and the debris goes through my window and into my eyes and mouth. I don’t think to shut the window and neither does my mom because she’s cooking and letting the place air out. I’m frightened that I’ll get asbestos poisoning because they’re ripping the interior walls apart (drywall and sheetrock). She laughs at me and says that won’t happen and I guess this enrages me. We get into a huge argument where she says the normal stuff to me like I only think about myself, I have no respect for her, and then that she doesn’t want to here anything I say. I storm to my room and think about my response word for word. For some reason I’m in a towel. I go back and say exactly what I thought. “All you think about is respect. You will never get my response because you don’t deserve it!” Fuck, I can’t remember the rest but I know it really hurt her. I go back to my room and after a few hours, my mom is livid. She says she’s going to kick me out and says “Whats going to happen to the dog when I’m at work for hours and hours at night?” And berates me for not being responsible even though I’m the one that wanted a dog. She’s right. This sets me off. This isn’t the first time she’s kicked me out in real life, in fact she’s done it twice but both times she wasn’t serious. In fact, she was offended by the fact that I didn’t want to come back home. Anyways I have a breakdown. I yell and cry and kick and scream. It’s pathetic, shown through my voice cracking when I’m trying to be dominant in kicking my body guard out my room. All while still being in a towel. After a few hours, my mother and I both calm down by ourselves. I come out, still in a towel, ready to apologize. I start and she asks me to do something for her in a calm voice. She’s says we’re still cool. And I tell her that I want to explain why I act the way that I do. I tell her it’s because I’m bipolar and have bpd. That I’m ashamed of the way that I act but I get set off so easily because I have good and bad days. Or something like that. She surprisingly understands. In real life she’s rejected any mention of my mental illnesses. Days later maybe, I end up in a shopping plaza with my mom and max like the one in Five Towns before it got renovated. Old school Five Towns. Seems like he walked there. I go into this beauty supply shop that like a mix of Claire’s. I wanted to steal a box of lipgloss on a round table right by the entrance but get spotted looking at it. The employees are old Italian guys for some reason. All with slicked back hair, black tees, blue jeans, and black boots. Greaser style but they’re far beyond their rebellious phase. They don’t scare me. They ask to check my pockets despite me not stealing anything yet and I get defensive. I’m not wearing a bra so I do the pat down myself, pulling my pockets out and all, nothing is on me. They still press me so I press back and one acts like my breath stinks. It does because I feel the cheese on my teeth, I wonder if I was feeling my teeth in my sleep which is cheesy and stink in real life. I walk out the store and look for my mom and max. The dream ends as I’m walking away. It seems all is good for now.
Interpreting dreams can be highly subjective, as the symbols and events in a dream are often unique to the dreamer's personal experiences and emotions. However, I will try to provide a general interpretation of the dream based on the themes and patterns presented.
The dream seems to revolve around themes of conflict, identity, and communication within family relationships. The main character, a high school aged girl, represents aspects of the dreamer's subconscious self. The ugly appearance and major beef with the mother figure may suggest feelings of insecurity, dissatisfaction, and tension in the dreamer's relationship with their own mother or parental figures.
The physical confrontation with the mother figure (Carmela) in front of others could signify a desire for attention and validation, as well as a need to assert oneself in the face of perceived injustice or repression. The dreamer's transformation between different characters and ages may indicate a struggle with self-identity and the different roles one feels they have to play in their family dynamics.
The involvement of mobster characters, such as the Sopranos, may represent the dreamer's perception of power struggles or toxic dynamics within their family. The dreamer seeking help from Tony (or the morphing into grandpa) suggests a desire for mediation, guidance, or resolution in these conflicts.
The classroom setting with confrontations and the inclusion of a made-up character who is confident and boundary-setting could symbolize the dreamer's need to assert themselves, establish healthy boundaries, and take control over their own experiences.
The encounter with Uncle Junior in a drug deal situation might reflect feelings of being surrounded or overwhelmed by negative influences or challenges in the dreamer's life. The struggle to communicate and enlist Junior's help may suggest difficulties in expressing oneself effectively or finding support from others.
The dream shifts to the dreamer's real-life environment, with interactions between the dreamer, their mother, and their dog. The construction debris and fear of asbestos poisoning may symbolize feelings of vulnerability or a sense of being exposed to harm within the home environment. The argument with the mother figure could represent ongoing conflicts and emotional strain in the real-life relationship.
The dreamer's breakdown and revelation of their bipolar disorder and BPD (borderline personality disorder) to the mother figure could reflect a deep desire for understanding, acceptance, and communication in regard to their mental health struggles. The dream may serve as a metaphorical space for the dreamer to express their emotions and needs that they are unable to fully express in waking life.
The dream ends with a shopping plaza scene, involving a potential desire for rebellion and defiance (like contemplating stealing the lipgloss). The encounter with the Italian greaser-like employees may symbolize the dreamer's concerns about being judged or misunderstood by others.
Overall, this dream could be an expression of the dreamer's complex emotions, conflicts, and desires within their familial relationships, self-identity, and mental health struggles. It may reflect the need for open communication, understanding, and a sense of belonging. It could also suggest a longing for resolution and acceptance within their personal journey.